restless freedom.

This was Spanish Class for me. I sit behind the guy I like. (I hate that phrase. The guy I like. The guy I have a crush on. So stupid.)

tabitha589 — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 22:06:27 +0000

Him: Wait, we had to do Vocab 2 yesterday? I thought we were still on Vocab 1.
Me: -mumbles an answer-
Him: What?
Me: Oh…uh, nothing, nevermind. That was meaner than I meant it to be anyway.
Him: -laughs- (Because honestly I am a bitch to a couple of people in that class because they are assholes)
Me: What?!
Him: Nothing. What did you say?
Me: Nothing! It was too mean. I usually try to save my mean comments for other people.
Him: … -Starts to smile-
Me: What is that look for?
Him: Does that mean you give me special treatment?
Me: …Fuck…No! That’s…not what I meant at all!
Him: Oh? I think it was.
Me: I think you’re reading too much into this.
Him: How?
Me: You think I’m giving you special treatment!
Him: Well, you are.
And so on.

Not even gonna lie.

tabitha589 — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 04:05:33 +0000

To be straight up?

I’m having a hard time breathing right now because something in my abdominal/lower chest area hurts. They say your heart breaks, but really it’s more like an ache that starts in your core and radiates outward until you feel like you’re fucking PMSing even though you know that’s not the problem, that’s not it, it’s just your soul tearing itself away from your body and it’ll be over soon but it’s one of those things you’d give anything in the world to make it STOP.

I’m not having a good day.

same old tired, lonely place.

tabitha589 — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 02:32:23 +0000

There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place

Walls of insincerity
Shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered “have we met?”
Across the room your silhouette
Starts to make it’s way to me

The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go
I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up
2 AM, who do you love?
I wondered ’til I’m wide awake

And now I’m pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I’d open up and you would say, “Hey”

It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go
I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don’t you let it go
I’m wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that
This was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name
Until I see you again
These are the words I held back
As I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don’t be in love with someone else
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go
I’m wonder-struck, blushing all the way home
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don’t you let it go
I’m wonder-struck, dancing around all alone
I’ll spend forever wondering if you know
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don’t be in love with someone else
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you

My mistake for wanting to believe.

tabitha589 — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 00:52:31 +0000

I thought she was done with the fat jokes, but I guess I was wrong. My bad.

take me with you.

tabitha589 — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 23:14:40 +0000

It gets so frustrating when people try to solve their problems by posting about it indirectly on the internet. It doesn’t solve anything if you post what’s wrong without naming names. You both know you’re talking shit about each other. You both know you’re mad at each other, and you both know exactly why. No more of this passive-aggressive shit. Just talk to each other and solve it, or ignore each other and be pissed forever. You’ve got to pick. You can’t solve anything by saying “I guess you just don’t care.” All you’re doing is pissing the people who have to read it off and feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody’s going to pity you if all you ever do is post “My life is so pathetic.” If your life is pathetic, make it worthwhile. If someone doesn’t care about you, you’re better off without them.

Duh.

But then again I’m a huge-ass hypocrite because I’m too much of a wimp to approach someone when I’m upset; I just whine about it via dumb attempts at mysteriousness or strategically posted song lyrics or quotes that perfectly describe my mood.

We’re teenagers. We’re all losers. We all hate each other. We all hate ourselves. We all hate the rest of the world.

Suck it the fuck up already.

Stop trying to send each other little hidden signs to let them know you’re upset. Just flat out say, “I’m pissed at you because…” and try to work it out.

If it’s worth missing, it’s worth saving.

Don’t let it go because you couldn’t fucking grow a pair and tell them what’s going on.

You can’t expect everyone to understand your mental treasure map. X does not always equal the spot. Sometimes you have to lead them directly to the answer in order to repair what might have otherwise been irreparable.

It’s ridiculous that so many people lose friends because they’re scared to just flat out tell them they’re upset. Telling someone how you feel is so easy compared to how impossible it is to lose someone you care about.

10-13-10

Edit: This sounds so mean. I get rather intense when I’m frustrated.

i never saw it coming.

tabitha589 — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 22:41:34 +0000

It’s just one of those things that you don’t even like to admit to yourself, let alone to other people.

i’ll never let this go.

tabitha589 — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 21:33:14 +0000

one day, you’ll get sick of saying that everything’s alright.
I know I don’t post enough. I wonder if it’s because I don’t think enough to have something meaningful to write down, or if I think too much and I just don’t know how to capture it all into sensible paragraphs. Often, I hate the idea of people knowing how I feel. This thought dominates my mind whenever I think about posting on here. But there are rare, almost insignificant moments where I just want someone to read what I think and tell me “It’s fine. You’re normal. You’re sane. Don’t worry.” I know that probably won’t happen, and I’m not just feeling sorry for myself. I’d like to think that I’m somewhat of a realist, and the reality of the matter is that I’m not going to grab the attention of the people that I want to notice me. A big part of that problem is that I want the wrong people to notice me. I sometimes wonder if the right people don’t really care. I mean, I know it’s not true. I know they care, it’s just…sometimes that frame of mind is hard to hold on to. Especially when you feel so out of touch with everything you hold dear.

i’ve seen you cry way too many times, when you deserve to be alive.

I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t really want to explain it…it’s just that lately everything seems like it’s exactly the same as it used to be and totally different from what it should be. I don’t like it.

I wish I could say what I want, but I just don’t know.

Just waiting for proof that there’re sunsets and silhouette dreams.

To be honest?

tabitha589 — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 01:55:54 +0000

I’m afraid.

yeah.

tabitha589 — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 20:42:35 +0000

why haven’t i deleted my wordpress yet? -_- I don’t use it.

you reminded me of brighter days.

tabitha589 — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:44:44 +0000

You shine like the stars in the sky. Created by melissa526 and taken 50 times on Bzoink
Have you walked up to a total stranger and said hey?:	yep.
are you a southern?:	in the state i live in, i live in the southern part.
female or male?:	female.
Have you ever been to hollywood, california?:	nope.
What is your dream career? :	writer.
How many best friends you got?:	the best of the best.
Is one of them a boy?:	not anymore.
Do you say goodnight to everyone in your house before you go to bed?:	no.
Take my hand I’m bleeding tears; Do you know where that comes from?:	miley cyrus.
^If not, it’s Miley’s song Take Me Along.
What do you drink daily? (coke/soda, water, juice, etc.):	tea. lots and lots of it.
Do you like flowers?:	sure.
What is the time?:	nine thirty-eight at night.
What are you sitting on?:	couch.
What color is the shirt you are wearing?:	black & white tank top & a gray t-shirt.
You got a Wii? :	yeah.
Do you play it often?:	no, i don’t like it much. i wish my xbox still worked.
What is your favorite color to wear?:	gray & black & blue.
What is your hair color? Is it natural?:	brown, & yes.
Have you ever seen North and South?:	no.
Do you pluck your eyebrows?:	no.
Wax them?:	no.
Can you go out without any makeup on?:	i don’t wear make-up much. i’m too lazy to spend the time putting it on.
Sound of Music is a good movie, right?:	absolutely.
What color are the curtains in the room you’re in? If there is any, that is:	green.
You have cable?:	satellite.
Do you pay bills?:	not yet. once i get a job i’ll be paying my car insurance.
Do you like watermelons?:	lovelovelove.
What did you do for the 4th of July?:	went swimming then saw the fireworks.
Do you love the beach?:	yesyesyesyes.
Have you created a survey before?:	yep.
Do you look up quotes/song lyrics for survey names?:	no, i just use whatever i’m listening to.
What’s it like outside?:	dark.
When does school start?:	august.
^^You ready for that? :	yes, i’m tired of constant boredom.
Have you enjoyed this survey so far?:	sure.
Do you like strawberries?:	they’re alright.
Do you know how to ride a bike?:	yep.
What grade are you in/going to be in?:	junior.
Are you homeschooled?:	nope.
If so, do you like it?:	blank.
If not, do you wish you were?:	nope.
What is your favorite food?:	hmmm, hard to say.
Name the nearest black object to you.:	hair tie on my wrist.
What’s for supper?:	nasty stuff.
Do you set the table before you eat supper/dinner?:	usually.
Do you say ya’ll?:	sometimes.
Are you northern?:	nope.
What state are you from?:	the one i live in xD
Is it true that you are taken?:	nope.
Truth or Dare? (: Pick one.:	dare.
Do you want to see Knight And Day?:	maybe when its out at blockbuster.
Do you still have old junk from long ago?:	yep, packrat.
Do you like gatorade?:	powerade’s better.
Is it true you like the color Blue?:	yep yep.
When someone says smile, do you?:	sometimes.
Don’t you hate being asked Perverted questions?:	haha i don’t mind it usually. it’s an excuse to cop an attitude.
What is your favorite TV show?:	hm. in plain sight.
Save, Rate, Pleasee. Thank Youu. (::	no problem.
There could have been more, But I can’t think of any more. byee. (:
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